Deeeeep Sigh…of relief!
From a random thread recommendation came Chillpreneur into my life and damn, I am grateful!
Let me preface by noting that I have never read a self-help book about business. It honestly sounds incredibly boring for an experiential learner, such as myself. But the premise was so intriguing – The New Rules for Creating Success, Freedom, and Abundance on Your Terms (so says the subtitle) – and that pulled me right in.
But first, a little back story might be helpful…
In January 2023 I took my first leap into the world of visibility, vulnerability, and all the other challenges that come with entrepreneurship (including the task of spelling entrepreneurship) and, as a result, I am feeling A LOT of things. Things I have spent years protecting myself from feeling – you know…the really uncomfortable internal stuff. Consequently, what I’ve come to learn is that, for years I had unwittingly traded feelings of insecurity, vulnerability, and uncertainty for feelings of unfulfillment, emptiness, and unmet potential. And that just wasn’t working for me anymore.
So, with a “no risk, no reward” mentality, I am finally willing to start stepping out of my comfort zone (which has become rather uncomfortable anyway) and into my own meaningful, exciting, uncertain and sometimes risky life – but on my terms.
Hence, this book…
If you ask those I am close with, I think they’d agree that I am a fairly confident person. In some areas of my life, I thrive on risk-taking; you know that one friend that’s always trying to get you to go to karaoke? Yeah, that’s me!
But in my professional life, it’s a different story.
The COVID pandemic turned a glaring spotlight on the global mental health crisis and, for many mental health clinicians, marked the onset of burn out and compassion fatigue. By late 2021 early 2022, I couldn’t ignore my compassion fatigue anymore. I knew I needed to make a change.
I’m not going to lie, the change process has been intense. Coming to realizations about myself and how the ongoing effects of my past trauma (which I have already done a lot of healing around) hit me like a ton of bricks. That’s because when I started to consider focusing my business around my deepest passions – teaching, public speaking, and expressive arts – I knew I would have to put myself out there…
That’s when it really started to hit me: I’ve become an expert at working in the shadows! I’ve spent my entire professional career very intentionally avoiding any practice of marketing myself. Even when I’d buy business cards, I would lose the whole box within a week and think “oh well…” and never thought much else of it.
This transformational shift toward taking up space in the light and boldly declaring “Hey! I am here and I have something to offer you” has turned my insides upside down. But, as I mentioned before, there is a part of me that takes risks and has fierce determination.
So, I started to take big steps toward my big, exciting goals… and I felt a lot of fear.
I didn’t realize it at the time, but when I picked up Chillpreneur, I really needed reassurance. I needed to be reminded that who I am and what I have to offer has value. Not just intrinsic value, but monetary value as well. That I didn’t have to choose between helping people, enjoying my work and making a decent living.
FYI – I am not being sponsored to write this post. I have never met Denise Duffield-Thomas or taken any of her courses. Hell, I didn’t even buy this book, I rented it from my local library!
This book spoke to my insecurities around not feeling smart enough, experienced enough; to that voice inside that insists no one will take me seriously or give me the time of day. The one that says “who am I to (fill in the blank personal dream)?”
Duffield-Thomas speaks to the all too common, extremely misogynistic, phenomena of women being taught to take less and give more, to feel like frauds in positions of power and authority, to carry the historical shame and judgment of a society that has never allowed women to experience true equality, let alone reach their full potential. The author’s entire premise, the Chillpreneur approach, is based on listening to yourself, learning and practicing what works for you, and being not just unapologetic, but proud to make a living doing it!
Reading this book felt like clearing a path. In the overwhelm, I found my breath. In the midst of whirlwind, there was suddenly some clarity.
I still have a lot to be accomplish on my journey of change. It will challenge me, scare me, excite and delight me, I am sure. But there is help and hope in the world. Knowing I don’t have to do it alone, means I know I can do it. Whatever “it” winds up being.